just mercy

On One Sided-Friendships.

Hey everyone.. How are we all doing?

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Source: http://www.artlimited.net

Recently I was talking to a really good friend of mine who is about twice my age. Loll.
I know it is abit weird but it is important to have really older friends as well.
I find their approach to life and all its hustles different in a good way and most times wiser as it mostly comes from a place of genuine (usually parental kind of) love, honesty and most importantly experience..

So,  having not spoken for a really long time, we were catching up and somehow our conversation drifted to one-sided friendships.

Me having ever experienced a friendship I considered to be one-sided started complaining about why people just can’t be committed to friendships as much as some are, how people just can’t be as loyal, or as caring or concerned as the other person is. I went on and on and on basically criticising people who don’t take friendships “seriously”.

He listened quietly and patiently.When I was through he spoke, and what he said, kept me silent for a moment as I pondered on them..

He said:

People are different and are wired different, and it manifests when they pass through different stages in their lives. Maybe they are at one of those stages.
The thing about friendship is, if you want it to last, you must learn to hold different people with different standards.
If that is the kind of person they are or have become, then let them and just take it that that’s what you will expect from them.
You should never try to judge people by your own standards.

These words, simple as they are, spoke volumes to me because I am guilty of judging people by my standards..
Not everyone can love the way you love, care the way you care, commit the way you commit. We are different.
We have our standards, and no one else can have the same standards as you do.
Don’t try to fix someone basing on what’s right to you.
If despite everything, things don’t just seem to work out, accept them as they are, let it be and move on.
Sometimes you have to let some people out of your inner circle but still keep them as friends because it is not that you have to keep people off completely everytime.. Sometimes, you fight for them until you get them back, sometimes, you keep them, but love them from a distance this time.
There will always be more friendships to be made.

Xx.
Atim❤

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8 thoughts on “On One Sided-Friendships.

  1. One sided friendships really hurt,friendship has to be a give and take on both sides. If it is the other around then loving them from a distance is the only option.
    I got to learn to never put high expectations in people because when they do not fulfill,we get disapointed.
    Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your friend said the truth. Some people do value friendship, but maybe lazy communicator and may not get in touch with you all the times. I’m one of those ones, and am blessed to have friends who understand that and don’t judge too much. They complain about it, but not really upset as it’s never been anything personal. Great post!

    Like

  3. This is so real! I feel like we forget that people don’t have the same “friendship standards” as us. I personally have been in a friendship where I felt like a friend held me to a standard higher than I expected. Trying to reach that standard is difficult, but sometimes you realize it may even be for your best interests. Thanks for sharing this!

    Liked by 1 person

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